Showing posts with label Ridley Scott. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ridley Scott. Show all posts

Saturday, 1 July 2017

"YOU ARE SUCH A DISAPOINTMENT TO ME!"

David (Alien Covenant)



Happy times.

Just a few nagging questions / thoughts I have following Covenant. I think enough time has passed now that I can discuss this without ruining the film for anybody (see, ain't I thoughtful?)...

Yes, I did this exact same thing after Prometheus,

I know. In no particular order:


1. Is Ridley Scott Intentionally demystifying the entire franchise? By delving into the 'how and why' of the alien mythos, and effectively sucking the mystery out of the franchise by insinuating that the most feared extraterrestrial in film history is, in all likelihood, the work of a demented android with 'daddy issues', feels like someone's being a dick about things...

2. Taming the alien is, simply put, stupid, and steals much of their menace. They are no longer the most dangerous organism in the galaxy, just a pet to be tamed.

3. The Oram / Daniels re-connection has no weight because the conflict never grew beyond a few angry words.

4. David goes full-on 'Games of Thrones' in terms of villains who take a long time to meet their deserved fate at the expense of sympathetic characters. We can pretty much kiss goodbye to Daniels and Tennessee et al.

5. The implied rape of Shaw is harsh, bad enough she was fucking cut to bits. Missed it? David threatens Daniels with the line “I'll do to you what I did to her” before throwing her onto the table and forcibly kissing her. Worse over, Daniels probably still has this to come, and she knows it as she drifts into hyper-sleep with David watching over her. Cruel.

6. Am I really to believe you can drown out an emergency alarm with loud music in the shower? Er, NO.

7. Why, after being stalked by monsters, would anybody decide “oh, I need to wash because I'm dirty and sweaty” and then proceed to wander off into a dark and deserted castle all on their own?

8. Why are the Covenant crew transporting fetuses? What good does this actually do? They still need to be raised into adulthood like normal children, so why not conceive them the usual way? And how, exactly, are they meant to grow? Just, why? WHY???

9. When the alien is crushed by the crane, that acid should have dissolved the metal almost instantly (one single drop in Alien dissolved through 3 floors and a metal boot) and the subsequent spurt should have easily covered and killed Daniels.

10. During that same crane scene, the heat alone from those jets should have killed Daniels.

11. We're told the Walter android was adapted because David was dangerous. Yet, nobody on Earth should know that David went off the rails in Prometheus. This implies that Peter Weyland took David on that doomed trip knowing full well he was dangerous, which doesn't sound all that likely.

12. The crew of the Covenant comment on the Prometheus mission because Dr Shaw vanished along with it. Surely, if Prometheus was to be remembered for anything, it would be for the fact that Peter Weyland, one of the most influential businessmen of the last century, went missing aboard it, not some bloody random doctor. That, or for the fact that Weyland's daughter and the intended inheritor of his enterprise, also went missing on the Prometheus's journey.

13. The alien life cycle feels too fast, as it did in AVP and AVPR.

14. How did nobody not notice the sprawling great dead city on their arrival? It didn't feel like they had to walk all that far from the landing spot to reach it so you'd think it could be seen from the air...

15. Where is the rest of the planet's population? Even if this isn't the Engineer's home-world, you'd think they'd have spread out beyond just the one city... And if this wasn't the Engineer's home planet, how comes they never thought to investigate? Surely all these creatures have a way of staying in touch with each other or routinely drop by?

16. David, seemingly marooned on the Engineer's planet, plans on destroying mankind- but why? Surely he must have realised that the odds of him being discovered were incalculably small?

17. David is more than capable of flying an Engineer shuttle on his own (he did so while Shaw was asleep). Could he honestly not find another shuttle to fly elsewhere? Did the Engineers really live on the planet without other shuttles? And on that subject, David drops the toxin which attacks and kills the Engineers, and then, having made it across the galaxy safely, somehow loses control and crashes his ship into a mountain? What, did the large, immovable mountain suddenly leap out at him from behind a tree?

So, fair?  What do you guys think? Can you defend any of this, or do you have issues I've missed?

let me know...

Saturday, 20 May 2017

ALIEN COVENANT: Full-Tilt Review.

"One wrong note eventually ruins the entire symphony."
Walther


Probably not a good sign...



Synopsis:

The Covenant is an interstellar shuttle on a mission to colonise a far-off planet. However, after a freak accident causes the Covenant structural damage and fatalities, the remaining crew are reluctant to re-enter hyper-sleep for the remaining 7 years of their voyage. However, their prayers are seemingly answered after they intercept a transmission of apparent human origin from a nearby planet. Closer inspection reveals an almost Earth-like ecosystem easily capable of supporting human life, but is this new utopia all as it first appears, or is something sinister lurking in the shadows?




Script: 1/2

Moments of inventiveness never quite compensate for the loose-ends and flaws in logic.


Pace: 1/2

The characters are never given time to properly develop, while the ending feels tacked-on.

 
Acting: 2/2

Some power-house performances and great supporting work.

 
Aesthetic: 1/2

Beautifully shot and much closer to Alien in style, undermined by some atrocious CGI.

 
Intention: 1/2

It's certainly distanced itself from Promethius, but also feels like a re-hash of better films.


Final Word: 6/10


Before we begin, here's a little context. The first Alien film was essentially a 'slasher' in space, and if you can forgive the paradox, a state-of-the-art B-movie, a 'creature-feature'. Rather than a world draped in the usual kitsch of the era's popular science fiction (Star Wars and Doctor Who being among Alien's contemporaries), novice director Ridley Scott instead presented a believable world populated with believable technology and believable characters ala 2001, but unlike 2001 Scott's films coup-de-gras was the reveal of a monster so terrifying, so nightmarish, so other, that it would leave an impression on audiences spanning decades... This was over 40 years ago, so it would seem unfair to expect the same sense of awe when audiences are much more familiar with the titular beast, but what the franchise lacks in shock-value you'd expect an accomplished director (one with over 40 years experience) to be able to compensate for in flair and ability. That's exactly what audiences thought as they flocked to see Prometheus in their droves. We all know how that turned out; an over-ambitious, hackneyed and unrealistic disaster which didn't deserve to be mentioned in the same breath as Alien.

As the scores on the door reveal, Covenant is a superior film to Prometheus, although that's damning with faint praise. Covenant is still far from a perfect film, although it's issues are somewhat harder to define.

If Alien was Scott's 'slasher' story, then Covenant represents his take on the 'mad scientist' trope. And therein lies some of the problem. Scott is less interested in telling a story about aliens than he is in waxing lyrical about the themes of creation, and to do this he uses the character of David as the lynch-pin of the film: it is David, not the alien, that takes serves as the main protagonist. While the other alien films may have flirted with other forms of villainy, the better films have always positioned the overriding threat as the beast itself. Not the case here. David is ruthless, manipulative and physically imposing, and it's clear that Scott is telling a David-driven (perhaps David Covenant would have been a better title?). His fascination with the character may even explain his recent return to the Bladrunner franchise, which would probably be a more natural fit for the themes he's clearly determined to explore; after all, when it boils down to it, both this and Bladerunner are about artificial slaves rebelling against their human creators. The Bladerunner references don't end there, either; consider the nail worn by Covenant's heroine Daniels (to remember her late husband)- it's a lot like the one that embeds into Roy's hand during the climax of Bladerunner, not forgetting David's line “that's the spirit” being the exact same line Roy utters to Deckard after the former tries in vein to fend him off. But for a puritan like myself, the alien franchise, once being the cornerstone of inventiveness, feels like the wrong place to reference other films. On top of that, tipping the hat to your own film feels about as self indulgent as it can get... All that said, the idea of a David-heavy story isn't the worst idea in the world; he's a very interesting foil and one of the only good things to come out of Prometheus, but to this extent it undermines the actual danger posed by the aliens themselves, leaving the classic alien creature (when it does appear) feeling like it's reduced to a cameo in its own film...

Alien Covenant isn't without it's merits. The film, as you'd expect from Ridley Scott, looks beautiful, and the opening credits call to mind, in no way accidentally, Richard Greenberg's iconic work on the first Alien. And, for what I believe to be the very first time in the Alien franchise, we hear the soundtrack from previous installments- Covenant's score paying service to both Alien and Prometheus. The technology in Covenant looks austere and functional, a definite step towards Alien in terms of design, and similarly a step away from Prometheus' body-hugging space suits and slick Apple aesthetic. Scott has also taken the time to rework the chestburster creature, making the most of (on the whole) better special effects. Now, rather than the worm-on-a-stick first seen in Alien, this little monster is now quite the "tough little son-of-a-bitch". However, it needs to be said, some of the CGI sequences in Covenant look cheap; some of the (what should have been impressive) shots of the Covenant drifting through space had the feel of a Sy-Fy Channel special, as did the mysterious 'electrical pulse' that damages the ship in Act 1, and my jaw literally dropped at the incredibly tacky alien-point-of-view sequence. The airborne virus that wipes out the Engineers (it's not a spoiler if it's in the trailer), swirling around like a swarm of killer raisins, also failed to convince. But, all these problems pale into insignificance compared to the effects used to realise the films menagerie of rabid monsters. I remember being impressed with the the 2 promotional shots leading up to the films release; that of the more traditional alien atop the ship (the “money shot” from the trailer) and that of the newer creature (the so-called Neomorph) perched over the body of a dead woman (see above). They looked like they had weight and tactile presence, which is a rare thing in CGI. Sadly, not so for the majority of other scenes, comparing unfavorably to some of the more heavy-handed CGI from Alien Resurrection. And finally, while we're on the subject, I'm not sure what the idea was with all the odd alien posturing? It's like the aliens have bought into some faddy extraterrestrial yoga class. And when they're not in 'child's pose' or 'downward dog' they're standing ram-rod upright like scarecrows. The whole thing is pretty bizarre...

Back onto better things; the crew are all played excellently, gone are the stock-characters of Prometheus; the Covenant's crew all talk and behave like actual people, they don't talk purely in exposition or high-minded theoretical rhetoric. Katherine Waterson makes for a plucky lead playing Daniels, while Billy Crudup plays Oram, the ships new captain, and turns what could have easily been a simple 'idiot in charge' role into someone who isn't entirely unlikable. Danny McBride, better known for comedy, plays the rowdy Tennessee, and despite little screen-time will probably become a firm favorite in the minds of the audience (I expect to see him in more serious roles as a result of this turn). Demian Bichir, Carmen Ejogo et-al all convince. However, it's Michael Fassbender's show, and he steals every single scene he's in, which, between his 2 roles, is most of them. Here he returns as the sinister David, as well playing Walther, the next model up from David. Both are fascinating characters, and Fassbender has mastered a style of efficiency-in-movement and mannerism that perfectly encapsulates the characters- almost human, but not quite. However, it seems for every one thing Covenant gets right it makes a mistake elsewhere. Yes, the crew this time round feel much more real, but despite what feels like a long lead-in to the actual running-around-screaming section of the film, we find out very little about these characters- putting us (unforgivably) back into “I don't care what happens to these people” territory. That's not the case all over as some characters do manage to shine despite a lack of attention, but for the most part we accept these people are just fodder. This is lessened to some extent if you got round to watching the Last Supper promotional clip, which defines some of the characters and their relationship to each other, but this didn't make the cut of the final film. I'd not watched that clip for a while so I struggled to remember much about it, to the extent that when two of the main characters are killed in the shower I hadn't registered they were actually a couple before hand. The same can be said about the other pairings- especially the much-hyped gay couple.. You only begin to relaise who-loves-who only after the deaths start piling up and the newly widowed begin to sob. Interesting dynamics that have previously been hinted at, such as Daniels' relationships with Oram and Walther, never come to a satisfying fruition. But, and this is an important distinction to make, this is not the fault of the cast! This is the writer and the director (Ridley Scott always gets the final word)! This is not acceptable film making, and if you think that sounds harsh, this past year Ridley Scott, a director with (let's remember has 40 years experience), made $75 million. I don't know about you, but with that in mind I expect a fucking good movie! The dialogue, while well delivered, is also a little flat- you won't find any memorable lines on par with “I admire its purity” or “get away from her you bitch”. All I could remember was the line “sugar tits” and (for all the wrong reasons) “I'll do the fingering”. Yes, that really is a line...

But like I said, Covenant isn't without merits. The film is arguably at it's best when the crew are marooned on the planet. For a franchise previously about navigating claustrophobic metal environments, it was good to see some nature- and it's not like big empty forests aren't menacing in their own special way, especially come nightfall. This tonal shift called to mind moments of Predator and Jurassic Park, especially in one scene where the Neomorphs are leaping velociraptor-style at the crew from out of the grass. Shame then that the film abandons this novel twist in favour of a climax taking place aboard the Covenant itself, but hey-ho. While the film does at least try something new with the old formula (setting the biggest part of the film on the ground, aliens bursting from different parts of the body, the Neomorphs, etc), this is all hindered by poor handling. Scott now seems to think that a shaky camera is the same thing as immersion, and the shots are either too dark to pass as 'exciting action' or too energized to qualify as 'horror', yet another thing the film has in common with Alien Resurrection. The set-piece atop a moving space ship (again, seen in the trailer) felt like the sort of realism-defying thrills you'd expect to see in one of the later Die Hard films. In fact, the entire final climax of the film came off as weak: not only was the inclusion of the alien-on-the-ship scenario totally unnecessary (the film would have ultimately ended the same way regardless) but it felt like the most hollow half-arsed form of lip service. It felt like a certain thin-skinned director declaring “fine, you want more of the same? Here, have it! More of the fucking same!”. I mean, it felt like the director was intentionally dicking me about, even down to how the alien is finally dispatched (yep, you guessed it, flushed into space- and I can't even consider that a spoiler having seen it 3 times now). Which brings us to the ending... I won't give too much away, but while previous Alien films have always ended on a hopeful note (even Alien 3, while bleak, ended with Ripley preventing 'the company' from possessing the new-born queen), Covenant is out-and-out despairing. I have no issue with bleak endings, and in much of horror it seems rightly fitting, but in an Alien film I wasn't sold. It was just morbid... And why, exactly, is the Covenant traveling through space with hundreds of human embryos? How exactly does that help anybody colonise a world?

There are also a number of little plot holes and the like that I'll refrain from going into right now because I don't want to spoil anything (another post down the line might be in order)- but if you're reading this thinking “too late for that”, you clearly didn't watch the trailer, friend. If you have, the bad news is you've pretty much seen the entire film already (thanks for that, modern marketers!).

Much has been made of, what the Americans call, a “hard R rating” (our equivalent of a 15/18 rated film), with everyone saying how gory the film is. I went into Covenant a little perturbed by this. Whatever the first 4 Alien films may or may not be, they're far from full-on gory. Part of what made them work was that you'd always felt like you'd seen more than you ever had; death was, for the most part, implied. Sure, they all have a gory birthing scene, but after that, almost nothing. In Alien most of the character's deaths are cut-away- one of the most chilling moments is in hearing (and not seeing) Lambert scream over the tannoy system- as a viewer your imagination was probably far worse than anything the film could show you. In Aliens, again, characters are mostly killed off-screen, only Bishop is eviscerated in full view but he hardly counts because he's an android. Alien 3, a little bloodier, sure, but death is always edited fast or kept at a distance. However, I can safely say that initial reports of Covenants gore are mostly exaggerated. What it does do, however, is dispatch it's characters with unflinching cruelty. A case and point; one female character accidentally kills herself by causing a mass explosion, and the stranded crew witness her fire engulfed form staggering from the debris before finally collapsing. A touch excessive (as well as unrealistic, I'd have expected her to be blown to pieces), it felt once again like a certain director taking issue with criticism; “fine, if Prometheus wasn't vicious enough for you, watch this- I'm going to kill-off people's loved ones right in front of their eyes- is that edgy enough for you?” And speaking of unflinching cruelty, I always quite liked Elizabeth Shaw, one of the few developed characters of Prometheus. Without wanting to give too much away, Scott has evoked a sense of Alien 3 in terms of the brutal elimination of pre-established characters before they even reach the starting line. It felt a very cynical and very cruel send-off, almost as if a certain thin-skinned director was saying to his audience “fine, you didn't like my last film, I'll wipe the slate clean and the blood is on your hands!”


Final, Final Word

Alien Covenant is hit-and-miss, a step forward in some ways and a step back in others. Tonally, the film is an unsatisfying patchwork, and the end result is simply not scary. Bloody, sure, and brutal, but considering Ridley Scott's recently been quoted as saying of Alien Covenant “I wanted to scare the shit out of people”, then he can chalk this up as a fail. Covenant may have provided him a chance to salvage some of his work from Prometheus, but it's at a cost. In a word, “fatigue”; I'm not sure I want to sit through another alien film, and for the hard-core fan that I am that's not an easy thing to live with. I say that as a man who firmly believes there are still amazing stories left to be told involving the aliens, I just know now that I'm never going to live to see them. In many ways a full-on reboot would have been a better move, at least it would have left the original films with whatever dignity they still had. Alien Covenant is a trashy B-movie in the mold of Relic and Anaconda, with delusions of A-movie importance- too nasty and too self-aggrandising to allow for (in the abstinence of a better film) any of the cheap fun that could otherwise have been had by watching people being eaten by space monsters...
Scott is clearly a gifted visionary, but he's developed over the years into a director far more interested in themes and subtext than he is in character or coherent story, and that's always going to sit jarringly with everything Alien represents. Scott doesn't seem to understand this, he's sadly only as good as the script he's given, and this isn't the best script.





Possible spoiler; You have to ask yourself, at a point, why you need to cast Fassbender twice in the same film? Throughout the franchise the different androids ("I prefer the term artificial person") have been played by different actors, which isn't entirely unrealistic. 2 Fassbenders presents you with an expensive effects challenge you needn't have. This might lead you consider that having 2 Fassbenders running around might become a later plot device, and anyone familiar with 'Chekhov's Gun' will surely begin to suspect something when David starts cutting his hair to look like Walther. But I told myself "Ridley Scott's got over 40 years of experience, surely he isn't planning on that old 'swapping twins' cliche." I tried not to worry. And then, as the film reached its climax, Walther and David go head-to-head, and then there's a pause- will Walther deliver the fatal blow, or will David reach for the knife. Guess what? We CUT AWAY! Why bother Ridley? Why bother? By not showing what's happened you've already told us. If Walther had won you'd have shown it, by cutting away and leaving us in doubt you've clearly set up David to take Walther's place- otherwise there's no point. Not only is it one of the oldest tricks in the book, Ridley's pulled it off with all the grace and sophistication of a Nickelodeon cartoon! Wow, a new low in direction even for you Ridley Scott, you fucking tool. I actually felt genuinely insulted, did he think I wouldn't know what was going on? So then I sat through the last part of the film (which was unnecessary anyway, it was the film Alien crammed into 5 minutes) waiting to see if anybody would find out about David's disguise. Then I thought "oh, that nail Daniels stabbed David with under the chin when they had that fight must have left a wound, she'll probably notice that, that's clever at least" (because, like the 'switch', the nail had been set up with all the subtly of a Jim Davidson gag, and we had yet to see the pay-off). But guess what? Didn't happen... Ridley Scott, you sir are a hack.



Monday, 15 October 2012

BLADE RUNNER, DIRECTOR'S CUT; Carlisle's Final Word.

"I need ya, Decks. This is a bad one, the worst yet. I need the old blade runner, I need your magic."
Bryant.
 
 
 
Script Logic; 1/2
 
Pace; 1/2
Acting; 2/2
Aesthetic; 2/2
Originality & Intention; 2/2
Score; 8/10
 


Final Word; ...
 
Another example of when this review template throws you a curve- ball. Yes the acting, the effects, and the world-building are all top-notch, but I really didn’t enjoy this film, and I realise (once again) that puts me in a minority. I found the film to be alienating and dull, which is strange in itself if you consider I’m a sucker for a good sci-fi, or a thoughtful film. Perhap's I'd feel more warmth if the film had retained it's laconic voice over- which leads onto the subject of all the different cuts there are of this film flying about these days... Honestly, how different can a film be for just a few different moments cut or included here-and-there? Surely it's the same overall experiance? It's like saying your whole holiday would have been a different if only you'd packed the red beach towle and not the blue, or saying "if only the water slide had another bend in it- that would have been soooooo much better!" You get either the same tan, or the same final splash, respectively.
Still, no denying Bladerunner's influence on almost every science fiction movie that followed it (another feather in the cap of Ridley Scott), so I guess it earns its points despite my reservations. Just goes to show you, a ‘good’ film isn’t always an ‘enjoyable’ one, and that even I have difficulty defending my preferences before the hard cold stare of logic.

Thursday, 4 October 2012

ALIEN; Carlisle's Final Word.

"I can't lie to you about your chances, but... you have my sympathies."
Ash.
 
 
Script Logic; 2/2
Pace; 1/2
Acting; 2/2
Aesthetic; 2/2
Originality & Intention; 2/2
Score; 9/10



Final Word; Ignore the fact that the look of the film is starting to show signs of dating, and consider the restrictions of the shoe-string budget and effects, and the film is nothing short of remarkable. Compare it to the cardboard scenery and rubber-masks of its peers (Star Trek, Doctor Who and Star Wars, A New Hope) and you have a truly believable world and an absolutely terrifying monster. Solid acting, and a sharp (if slow-burning) script that takes the standard ‘slasher’/ ‘3 Little Indians’ idea and transplants it into space. Genre defining and iconic.

Saturday, 22 September 2012

"THE TRICK, POTTER, IS NOT MINDING THAT IT HURTS..."

*Peter Weland, Prometheus (2012).


Oh Prometheus, you troublesome beast...





Well, maybe I should prefix this review with a little background information:

I, like many of you (I’m sure) sometimes struggle to make ends meet. My ‘better half’ is pregnant, and before the approaching due-date we decided to have one last night of freedom. We both agreed that “dinner and a movie” would be good, and I managed to convince her to see Prometheus. No mean feat, her not being big on science fiction.
Although I plan to write at length about this later, cinema costs are now close to extortion. Without the added costs of driving to-and-from, or paying for a car park, you’re looking at between £7 and £13 for a cinema ticket, depending on venue and 3D or 2D screenings. Let’s not forget snacks and a drink, that’s about another £5  to £10 a head. So for the two of us to just go see a movie we’re looking at paying around the £40 mark, travel not included. I remember when the cinema used to be a cheap night out…

I won’t beat around the bush, as you can tell by having a quick look at the scores avaliable in the 'Carlisle's Final Word' review, Prometheus failed to live up the level of hype and expectation that surrounded it. It is of course possible that the disappointment concerning my ‘last night of freedom’, as well as the expenses surrounding it, is partly to blame. The following is as even handed as I can be, and I’m nowhere near as cantankerous as I was on leaving the cinema. Counter arguments are always encouraged, but are still incorrect.



Here goes. The next section is spoiler free…

Prometheus, if nothing else, is certainly intriguing, whether you’re discussing the plot points or the circumstances around the projects traumatic birth.

As I’ve stated previously, this IS a film in the long-suffering Alien franchise, and it’s a confused entry at that. To be honest, although ‘They’ say the story started off as an Alien prequel and mutated into something different along the way, the film actually feels like a totally independent story with Alien-franchise references uncomfortably forced into it- and that may well be one of the film’s biggest problems. The content is almost entirely permissible at 12A, with some pointless low-end 15 certificate violence. For this a multitude of unnecessary and under-developed characters are introduced for the sole purpose of being killed-off in scenes that feel as if they are included only to liven the pace and reinforce the Alien content.

Perhaps the film would have kept more integrity if the Alien references were trimmed entirely, because they fail to serve the story in any way and feel laboured, as unnatural as a square peg in a round hole.

Instead of being intellectually gratifying (the aim) or torturously terrifying (as was Alien), the film is as thrilling as a carpet convention, as frightening as a leaky tap, non-cannon, and fails to deliver on its lofty (and cliché ridden) premise: seriously, directors shouldn’t indulge such overused material or theological ideas unless they have something unique, insightful or enlightening to bring to the table.


On the positive side, the film looks great and the sets are spookily atmospheric, and some of the acting is top-draw. Unfortunately, the good quality acting highlights those amongst the cast who aren’t quite up to task...



Well, that was my thoughts on the film itself. Now I’m going to address some big issues I have with the plot itself. Warning, spoilers ahead.

How can an expert geologist with mapping devices get lost coming out of a straight tunnel? Some expert.

Why would anyone approach a hostile alien-cobra, of which absolutely nothing is known, with all the fear and awe you'd associate with approaching a 3-legged puppy?
Why even consider setting fire to an ‘ill’ man when you have a perfectly functioning, state-of-the-art quarantine bay (used later)? Would seem a little excessive.

If you’re an android, programmed to protect your boss, a multiu-millionaire who is secretly in hiding onboard the ship, why run the risk of infecting one of the crew with alien slime? And why then introduce your boss to an alien creature that you know full-well has its mind set to destroying Earth? Stupid android.

Yes, the air is breathable, but why run the risk of removing your helmet? And again, why remove your helmet after you discover the Alien ship was actually a military installation working on biological weaponry?

The film Alien is set eighty years from these events. Aliens and Alien 3 fifty years after that. So why, one hundred and thirty years into the future, is there no technology to successfully remove an alien parasite without killing the host when that technology exists in Prometheus? 

If a giant ship is rolling after you (like a giant biscuit), why not run sideways? 

How did the Weyland business empire continue if Weyland himself and his only child are both killed in this film?

Note to the writers; if the shocking revelation of your story is that the ‘Engineers’ are actually human, then perhaps don’t reveal that in your opening scene? Sort of takes away from your climax.

The effect of the black jelly is too inconsistent. Don’t give me that “oh, it reacts to the mental state of the life form it comes in contact with” because it’s bollocks. I defy someone to explain that rationally.

Assuming the aliens stayed in contact with their own kind, why when their weapons base (the setting of the film) became poisoned did others not take up the task of ending life on earth 2000 years ago? The film points out that they have a home world, so they weren’t the last of their kind. Didn’t they have communications of some kind, I dun ‘no, like Facebook or something?

The music is (for the most part) too upbeat and majestic, more fitting for a cartoon adventure about lost kittens, or about a brave little toy who loses his owner.

How did the android learn the alien’s language? I mean, they do answer this; apparently by studying the similarities in ancient languages. Ahem, bullshit, ahem! And even so, understanding an alien’s language shouldn’t mean you can effortlessly activate their technology…

Nobody at any point stayed in contact with Earth. Seems a bit stupid.

Why did Weyland have to hide aboard the ship like a stowaway, it was his fucking ship! Surely if the man is paying the bills he pretty much gets to set the parameters? I mean, the scientists were hardly going to pass-up the expedition rather than take along some old codger, were they?

How could the Romans confuse the alien for Jesus? Assuming they did, which I believe is the crux of the film. The ‘Engineers’ stayed in contact with earth after creating humanity, visiting on occasion, till they eventually come visit us during the Roman Empire. This ends badly, they crucify the ‘Engineer’ and so his kin decide ‘fuck the humans’. They fly away and work on a biological weapon to destroy us / their creation.



My final thought... Jesus = average looking guy with a big beard, very mellow and peaceful, even in the face of adversity. Engineer = 8 foot tall unstoppable humanoid with no hair whatsoever and aggressive tendencies.

Friday, 21 September 2012

PROMETHEUS; Carlisle’s Final Word.

"A king has his reign, and then he dies. It's inevitable."
Meredith Vickers.
 


Script Logic; 0/2
Pace; 1/2
Acting; 1/2
Aesthetic; 2/2
Originality & Intention; 0/2
Score; 4/10




Final Word; A nonsensical, overblown, cliché ridden and smug mess of a film. Makes the fatal mistake of revealing its ‘twist’ in the opening scene and has nothing else to keep you interested. So many plot holes and ‘what the fuck?’ moments  it makes the mind boggle. If it didn’t have Ridley Scott’s name attached no critic would give it the time of day- what was he thinking? Does Scott have Dementia now? Vicker's quote opening this review sadly illustrates both the career of Ridley Scott and the genre-defining Alien franchise.







Friday, 25 May 2012

"I ADMIRE ITS PURITY"

Ash. Alien (1979)

Why am I not more excited by this film?

Growing up I was the biggest fan of the Alien films. Alien was atmospheric and creepy, Aliens was a white-knuckle action film. I'm one of the few people who actually enjoy Alien 3, an underrated thriller plagued by behind-the-scenes drama (so much so that it's miraculous they wrestled a film out of it at all). Less said about Alien Resurrection the better, and then the Aliens Vs Predator franchise killed the thing stone dead... Story over, or so I thought.

Then, out of nowhere, there's talk of starting over with a remake. Then talk of Ridley Scott and James Cameron working together for a sequel. I dismissed that as 'too good to be true', and indeed it was. But the rumors of Scott still being on for the project persisted. Then they were confirmed, for a prequel. I was interested. It was an obvious decision really; if you can't go forward, go backwards.

Then something strange happened. Suddenly it wasn't an Alien project at all, it was unrelated. Then it was. And then it wasn't again. Finally it 'was and it wasn't'. Glad they cleared that up.



So this is where we are now: it's set in the same world as Alien, before the first Alien film, but it won't feature the Alien. They (by this I mean the cast and Ridley Scott himself) still pretentiously proclaim that it's not a prequel. that's an argument for another day, and probably worth a post in its own right*.

From what I gather, an expedition is assembled to investigate the possibility that UFOs had come to our planet during the dawn of mankind- and are possibly responsible for our being here. They trace the UFO to a distant planet by deciphering the clues in caveman paintings and stumble across the crashed ship from the first Alien film. From that point in the proverbial 'shit hits the wall'.



Nice idea. It's had an intriguing viral marketing campaign, it's got a top-notch cast including Noomi Rapace, Michael Fassbender and Guy Pearce, a spooky trailer (no coincidence that it's very similar to the first Alien trailer, and I'm positive that's the same music), a director who (despite some absolute turkeys in his career) I still admire, and it's set in a world that i adore.

So, again I ask you, Why am I not more excited by this film?



Is it that I can't get my head around it being set in the same world as Alien, only without the titular monster? Is it that it just looks a bit self-important? Is it that I'm pretty sure I can already see where the film will draw it's conclusion (that like the Alien of the previous films, the human race are some form of biological weapon)? Is it that I've lost faith in Scott as a director after Kingdom Of Heaven and Robin Hood? Is it that I hear the studio is forcing them to cut it at a 12A to get a bigger audience?

What the hell is my problem? I should be eating this up.



Anyway, here's the three minute trailer. Hope you enjoy it more than I did.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIJeQNyZ6VE&feature=relmfu


* A note for Ridley Scott (I'm sure he'll read this at some point). If it's set in the same world, features some of the same characters, the same technology, and the same ship, then it's a prequel. End of argument really. That, and you've had to credit the original writers of the first Alien film, which also confirms that this is indeed a prequel... Enjoy your millions, don't mess this up!




And just what the hell is this???