“AS LONG AS IT'S ALIVE, SISTER, YOU'RE NOT GONNA SAVE ANY UNIVERSE...”

While the third Alien film has always been a problematic guilty pleasure of mine, I've always maintained that the creature design was the standout highlight of the whole franchise. After James Cameron's unceremonious decision to not call back Swiss surrealist H.R Giger, whose seminal monster design in the first Alien film helped elevate it into movie legend, director David Fincher reached back out to the artist for his take on a more animalistic beast. While the creature in Alien 3 may not entirely be Giger's own, the surrealist definitely helped to shape the monster into what was seen on the screen; a slick, quadrupedal thing. This time, born of dog (or ox, depending on which edit of the film you watch) the bio-mechanical styling had been dialed back in favor of a more naturalistic bone-and-sinew aesthetic, while the phallic domed head also returned. It is, in an odd way, a thing of horrific beauty.

Anyway, my youngest son (with a little help from his mother, I'm certain) bought me the NECA figure of the aforementioned Dog Alien for Christmas. NECA may make beautifully crafted figures, but read any review and you'll see that craft is somewhat let down by the way they are put together. Sadly mine was no exception, and straight out the box my wonderful new model was missing a shoulder blade. This led to a debate with the seller, who eventually credited me with a free replacement. This still left me with the damaged figure, and an unusual opportunity to try my hand at some amateur modifications. The NECA toy, as articulated as it is, was not designed to be put on all-fours, which seems odd seeing how it spends most of the film in this way; the legs do not bend in on themselves, and the neck and skull don't lift enough. The end result is an alien left staring at the floor, looking like its in the throes of an unusual yoga pose rather than running on the heels of its next victim. So I resolved to force this damaged figure into a dramatic running pose and re-base it. The following is what came to pass...

First I assembled a few items; polystyrene, garden mesh, straws and some of my oldest son's old toys. I used the polystyrene as a wall, which I hoped would act as the backdrop for the alien. I pinned some of the garden mesh to the back to act as type of metal grill or fencing. The purpose of the backdrop is not to be anything specific, just to hint at the sort of backdrops from the film; bricks, pipes, chains, etc. Wallpaper cut into squares and mounted on card were used to replicate the look of uneven bricks. After applying the decorative touches I coat the backdrop in black. The base is, funnily enough, a leftover from a plastic Alien 3 model kit. The alien itself broke long ago, I held onto this for some unknown reason. I paint it concrete grey and give it a black wash. Here you can see a the hand of the Alien figure, used for scale.

I use a number of browns and grays on the brickwork, and a combination of gun metal and silver paint on the pipes (formally drinking straws) and metal-work. The canister was an old plastic toy, repainted. I used a silver paint to make the thing looked scratched, and a black wash again to make it appear suitably grimy. Again, the scaffolding was another toy. I gave it a similar treatment to the canister. A fine bronze chain is also applied and left hanging irregularly, again to hint at the type of imagery from the film.

Next I take the alien figure apart, stripping it into its individual components. I discard all the joints, as when in place they don't look particularly natural and only elongate the limbs. I take some time to play with these, and to work out the final pose. The tip of the tale was crooked from how it was packaged clumsily, so I used Milliput to straighten it. This is mostly successful. Clay failed to hold the limbs together, so I'm forced to splash out on more expensive modeling putty. It works, but keeping the thing together while it sets presents issues. Finally I manage to balance it on a combination of household items. Amazingly, and by pure luck, the thing actually balanced on its own without being propped up.

I examined a number of photo references from Alien 3, film stills, behind the scene pictures and other models and figurines. The colours seemed often contradictory, and the sepia lighting of the sets often just bathed everything in a brown hue. Finally I opted to begin with an olive green base coat. The second coat of paint was a tan brown, although I'm sure not to coat the thing entirely, so in areas the olive green still breaks through, especially on the fleshier parts. I base the backdrop (which couldn't support its own weight) onto a piece of MDF. It's cut so that it's wide enough for the whole wall, but cut into an angle that should compliment the alien's base. I add further highlights to the ribs, spine, shoulders, teeth, tongue and lips. I also use modeling putty to fill in the gaps between the dome and lips, and use black paint on each end of the dome.

... All in all, coming along nicely.

ALIEN COVENANT: Full-Tilt Review.

"One wrong note eventually ruins the entire symphony."

Walther

Probably not a good sign...

Synopsis:

The Covenant is an interstellar shuttle on a mission to colonise a far-off planet. However, after a freak accident causes the Covenant structural damage and fatalities, the remaining crew are reluctant to re-enter hyper-sleep for the remaining 7 years of their voyage. However, their prayers are seemingly answered after they intercept a transmission of apparent human origin from a nearby planet. Closer inspection reveals an almost Earth-like ecosystem easily capable of supporting human life, but is this new utopia all as it first appears, or is something sinister lurking in the shadows?

Script: 1/2

Moments of inventiveness never quite compensate for the loose-ends and flaws in logic.


Pace: 1/2

The characters are never given time to properly develop, while the ending feels tacked-on.

 

Acting: 2/2

Some power-house performances and great supporting work.

 

Aesthetic: 1/2

Beautifully shot and much closer to Alien in style, undermined by some atrocious CGI.

 

Intention: 1/2

It's certainly distanced itself from Promethius, but also feels like a re-hash of better films.

Final Word: 6/10

Before we begin, here's a little context. The first Alien film was essentially a 'slasher' in space, and if you can forgive the paradox, a state-of-the-art B-movie, a 'creature-feature'. Rather than a world draped in the usual kitsch of the era's popular science fiction (Star Wars and Doctor Who being among Alien's contemporaries), novice director Ridley Scott instead presented a believable world populated with believable technology and believable characters ala 2001, but unlike 2001 Scott's films coup-de-gras was the reveal of a monster so terrifying, so nightmarish, so other, that it would leave an impression on audiences spanning decades... This was over 40 years ago, so it would seem unfair to expect the same sense of awe when audiences are much more familiar with the titular beast, but what the franchise lacks in shock-value you'd expect an accomplished director (one with over 40 years experience) to be able to compensate for in flair and ability. That's exactly what audiences thought as they flocked to see Prometheus in their droves. We all know how that turned out; an over-ambitious, hackneyed and unrealistic disaster which didn't deserve to be mentioned in the same breath as Alien.

As the scores on the door reveal, Covenant is a superior film to Prometheus, although that's damning with faint praise. Covenant is still far from a perfect film, although it's issues are somewhat harder to define.

If Alien was Scott's 'slasher' story, then Covenant represents his take on the 'mad scientist' trope. And therein lies some of the problem. Scott is less interested in telling a story about aliens than he is in waxing lyrical about the themes of creation, and to do this he uses the character of David as the lynch-pin of the film: it is David, not the alien, that takes serves as the main protagonist. While the other alien films may have flirted with other forms of villainy, the better films have always positioned the overriding threat as the beast itself. Not the case here. David is ruthless, manipulative and physically imposing, and it's clear that Scott is telling a David-driven (perhaps David Covenant would have been a better title?). His fascination with the character may even explain his recent return to the Bladrunner franchise, which would probably be a more natural fit for the themes he's clearly determined to explore; after all, when it boils down to it, both this and Bladerunner are about artificial slaves rebelling against their human creators. The Bladerunner references don't end there, either; consider the nail worn by Covenant's heroine Daniels (to remember her late husband)- it's a lot like the one that embeds into Roy's hand during the climax of Bladerunner, not forgetting David's line “that's the spirit” being the exact same line Roy utters to Deckard after the former tries in vein to fend him off. But for a puritan like myself, the alien franchise, once being the cornerstone of inventiveness, feels like the wrong place to reference other films. On top of that, tipping the hat to your own film feels about as self indulgent as it can get... All that said, the idea of a David-heavy story isn't the worst idea in the world; he's a very interesting foil and one of the only good things to come out of Prometheus, but to this extent it undermines the actual danger posed by the aliens themselves, leaving the classic alien creature (when it does appear) feeling like it's reduced to a cameo in its own film...

Alien Covenant isn't without it's merits. The film, as you'd expect from Ridley Scott, looks beautiful, and the opening credits call to mind, in no way accidentally, Richard Greenberg's iconic work on the first Alien. And, for what I believe to be the very first time in the Alien franchise, we hear the soundtrack from previous installments- Covenant's score paying service to both Alien and Prometheus. The technology in Covenant looks austere and functional, a definite step towards Alien in terms of design, and similarly a step away from Prometheus' body-hugging space suits and slick Apple aesthetic. Scott has also taken the time to rework the chestburster creature, making the most of (on the whole) better special effects. Now, rather than the worm-on-a-stick first seen in Alien, this little monster is now quite the "tough little son-of-a-bitch". However, it needs to be said, some of the CGI sequences in Covenant look cheap; some of the (what should have been impressive) shots of the Covenant drifting through space had the feel of a Sy-Fy Channel special, as did the mysterious 'electrical pulse' that damages the ship in Act 1, and my jaw literally dropped at the incredibly tacky alien-point-of-view sequence. The airborne virus that wipes out the Engineers (it's not a spoiler if it's in the trailer), swirling around like a swarm of killer raisins, also failed to convince. But, all these problems pale into insignificance compared to the effects used to realise the films menagerie of rabid monsters. I remember being impressed with the the 2 promotional shots leading up to the films release; that of the more traditional alien atop the ship (the “money shot” from the trailer) and that of the newer creature (the so-called Neomorph) perched over the body of a dead woman (see above). They looked like they had weight and tactile presence, which is a rare thing in CGI. Sadly, not so for the majority of other scenes, comparing unfavorably to some of the more heavy-handed CGI from Alien Resurrection. And finally, while we're on the subject, I'm not sure what the idea was with all the odd alien posturing? It's like the aliens have bought into some faddy extraterrestrial yoga class. And when they're not in 'child's pose' or 'downward dog' they're standing ram-rod upright like scarecrows. The whole thing is pretty bizarre...

Back onto better things; the crew are all played excellently, gone are the stock-characters of Prometheus; the Covenant's crew all talk and behave like actual people, they don't talk purely in exposition or high-minded theoretical rhetoric. Katherine Waterson makes for a plucky lead playing Daniels, while Billy Crudup plays Oram, the ships new captain, and turns what could have easily been a simple 'idiot in charge' role into someone who isn't entirely unlikable. Danny McBride, better known for comedy, plays the rowdy Tennessee, and despite little screen-time will probably become a firm favorite in the minds of the audience (I expect to see him in more serious roles as a result of this turn). Demian Bichir, Carmen Ejogo et-al all convince. However, it's Michael Fassbender's show, and he steals every single scene he's in, which, between his 2 roles, is most of them. Here he returns as the sinister David, as well playing Walther, the next model up from David. Both are fascinating characters, and Fassbender has mastered a style of efficiency-in-movement and mannerism that perfectly encapsulates the characters- almost human, but not quite. However, it seems for every one thing Covenant gets right it makes a mistake elsewhere. Yes, the crew this time round feel much more real, but despite what feels like a long lead-in to the actual running-around-screaming section of the film, we find out very little about these characters- putting us (unforgivably) back into “I don't care what happens to these people” territory. That's not the case all over as some characters do manage to shine despite a lack of attention, but for the most part we accept these people are just fodder. This is lessened to some extent if you got round to watching the Last Supper promotional clip, which defines some of the characters and their relationship to each other, but this didn't make the cut of the final film. I'd not watched that clip for a while so I struggled to remember much about it, to the extent that when two of the main characters are killed in the shower I hadn't registered they were actually a couple before hand. The same can be said about the other pairings- especially the much-hyped gay couple.. You only begin to relaise who-loves-who only after the deaths start piling up and the newly widowed begin to sob. Interesting dynamics that have previously been hinted at, such as Daniels' relationships with Oram and Walther, never come to a satisfying fruition. But, and this is an important distinction to make, this is not the fault of the cast! This is the writer and the director (Ridley Scott always gets the final word)! This is not acceptable film making, and if you think that sounds harsh, this past year Ridley Scott, a director with (let's remember has 40 years experience), made $75 million. I don't know about you, but with that in mind I expect a fucking good movie! The dialogue, while well delivered, is also a little flat- you won't find any memorable lines on par with “I admire its purity” or “get away from her you bitch”. All I could remember was the line “sugar tits” and (for all the wrong reasons) “I'll do the fingering”. Yes, that really is a line...

But like I said, Covenant isn't without merits. The film is arguably at it's best when the crew are marooned on the planet. For a franchise previously about navigating claustrophobic metal environments, it was good to see some nature- and it's not like big empty forests aren't menacing in their own special way, especially come nightfall. This tonal shift called to mind moments of Predator and Jurassic Park, especially in one scene where the Neomorphs are leaping velociraptor-style at the crew from out of the grass. Shame then that the film abandons this novel twist in favour of a climax taking place aboard the Covenant itself, but hey-ho. While the film does at least try something new with the old formula (setting the biggest part of the film on the ground, aliens bursting from different parts of the body, the Neomorphs, etc), this is all hindered by poor handling. Scott now seems to think that a shaky camera is the same thing as immersion, and the shots are either too dark to pass as 'exciting action' or too energized to qualify as 'horror', yet another thing the film has in common with Alien Resurrection. The set-piece atop a moving space ship (again, seen in the trailer) felt like the sort of realism-defying thrills you'd expect to see in one of the later Die Hard films. In fact, the entire final climax of the film came off as weak: not only was the inclusion of the alien-on-the-ship scenario totally unnecessary (the film would have ultimately ended the same way regardless) but it felt like the most hollow half-arsed form of lip service. It felt like a certain thin-skinned director declaring “fine, you want more of the same? Here, have it! More of the fucking same!”. I mean, it felt like the director was intentionally dicking me about, even down to how the alien is finally dispatched (yep, you guessed it, flushed into space- and I can't even consider that a spoiler having seen it 3 times now). Which brings us to the ending... I won't give too much away, but while previous Alien films have always ended on a hopeful note (even Alien 3, while bleak, ended with Ripley preventing 'the company' from possessing the new-born queen), Covenant is out-and-out despairing. I have no issue with bleak endings, and in much of horror it seems rightly fitting, but in an Alien film I wasn't sold. It was just morbid... And why, exactly, is the Covenant traveling through space with hundreds of human embryos? How exactly does that help anybody colonise a world?

There are also a number of little plot holes and the like that I'll refrain from going into right now because I don't want to spoil anything (another post down the line might be in order)- but if you're reading this thinking “too late for that”, you clearly didn't watch the trailer, friend. If you have, the bad news is you've pretty much seen the entire film already (thanks for that, modern marketers!).

Much has been made of, what the Americans call, a “hard R rating” (our equivalent of a 15/18 rated film), with everyone saying how gory the film is. I went into Covenant a little perturbed by this. Whatever the first 4 Alien films may or may not be, they're far from full-on gory. Part of what made them work was that you'd always felt like you'd seen more than you ever had; death was, for the most part, implied. Sure, they all have a gory birthing scene, but after that, almost nothing. In Alien most of the character's deaths are cut-away- one of the most chilling moments is in hearing (and not seeing) Lambert scream over the tannoy system- as a viewer your imagination was probably far worse than anything the film could show you. In Aliens, again, characters are mostly killed off-screen, only Bishop is eviscerated in full view but he hardly counts because he's an android. Alien 3, a little bloodier, sure, but death is always edited fast or kept at a distance. However, I can safely say that initial reports of Covenants gore are mostly exaggerated. What it does do, however, is dispatch it's characters with unflinching cruelty. A case and point; one female character accidentally kills herself by causing a mass explosion, and the stranded crew witness her fire engulfed form staggering from the debris before finally collapsing. A touch excessive (as well as unrealistic, I'd have expected her to be blown to pieces), it felt once again like a certain director taking issue with criticism; “fine, if Prometheus wasn't vicious enough for you, watch this- I'm going to kill-off people's loved ones right in front of their eyes- is that edgy enough for you?” And speaking of unflinching cruelty, I always quite liked Elizabeth Shaw, one of the few developed characters of Prometheus. Without wanting to give too much away, Scott has evoked a sense of Alien 3 in terms of the brutal elimination of pre-established characters before they even reach the starting line. It felt a very cynical and very cruel send-off, almost as if a certain thin-skinned director was saying to his audience “fine, you didn't like my last film, I'll wipe the slate clean and the blood is on your hands!”


Final, Final Word

Alien Covenant is hit-and-miss, a step forward in some ways and a step back in others. Tonally, the film is an unsatisfying patchwork, and the end result is simply not scary. Bloody, sure, and brutal, but considering Ridley Scott's recently been quoted as saying of Alien Covenant “I wanted to scare the shit out of people”, then he can chalk this up as a fail. Covenant may have provided him a chance to salvage some of his work from Prometheus, but it's at a cost. In a word, “fatigue”; I'm not sure I want to sit through another alien film, and for the hard-core fan that I am that's not an easy thing to live with. I say that as a man who firmly believes there are still amazing stories left to be told involving the aliens, I just know now that I'm never going to live to see them. In many ways a full-on reboot would have been a better move, at least it would have left the original films with whatever dignity they still had. Alien Covenant is a trashy B-movie in the mold of Relic and Anaconda, with delusions of A-movie importance- too nasty and too self-aggrandising to allow for (in the abstinence of a better film) any of the cheap fun that could otherwise have been had by watching people being eaten by space monsters...

Scott is clearly a gifted visionary, but he's developed over the years into a director far more interested in themes and subtext than he is in character or coherent story, and that's always going to sit jarringly with everything Alien represents. Scott doesn't seem to understand this, he's sadly only as good as the script he's given, and this isn't the best script.

Possible spoiler; You have to ask yourself, at a point, why you need to cast Fassbender twice in the same film? Throughout the franchise the different androids ("I prefer the term artificial person") have been played by different actors, which isn't entirely unrealistic. 2 Fassbenders presents you with an expensive effects challenge you needn't have. This might lead you consider that having 2 Fassbenders running around might become a later plot device, and anyone familiar with 'Chekhov's Gun' will surely begin to suspect something when David starts cutting his hair to look like Walther. But I told myself "Ridley Scott's got over 40 years of experience, surely he isn't planning on that old 'swapping twins' cliche." I tried not to worry. And then, as the film reached its climax, Walther and David go head-to-head, and then there's a pause- will Walther deliver the fatal blow, or will David reach for the knife. Guess what? We CUT AWAY! Why bother Ridley? Why bother? By not showing what's happened you've already told us. If Walther had won you'd have shown it, by cutting away and leaving us in doubt you've clearly set up David to take Walther's place- otherwise there's no point. Not only is it one of the oldest tricks in the book, Ridley's pulled it off with all the grace and sophistication of a Nickelodeon cartoon! Wow, a new low in direction even for you Ridley Scott, you fucking tool. I actually felt genuinely insulted, did he think I wouldn't know what was going on? So then I sat through the last part of the film (which was unnecessary anyway, it was the film Alien crammed into 5 minutes) waiting to see if anybody would find out about David's disguise. Then I thought "oh, that nail Daniels stabbed David with under the chin when they had that fight must have left a wound, she'll probably notice that, that's clever at least" (because, like the 'switch', the nail had been set up with all the subtly of a Jim Davidson gag, and we had yet to see the pay-off). But guess what? Didn't happen... Ridley Scott, you sir are a hack.

"BIG THINGS HAVE SMALL BEGININGS..."

David (Prometheus).

The "money shot".

Why do I keep doing this to myself?

Growing up Alien and Aliens were two of my favourite films, a love that has followed me into adulthood.

Alien 3, after initial disappointment as a teenager, I've grown to appreciate as a beautiful disaster. Alien Resurrection, however, I believe is total and indefensible garbage, for which all those involved should be totally ashamed of themselves. That film marked the absolute low-point for the franchise till Aliens vs Predator and the subsequent sequel. It's not that I took offense to the notion of a cross-over, simply that the films were as life affirming and enjoyable as a one-way trip to a Swiss clinic.

By that point I couldn't see how things could get any worse and hoped (Christ, how I hoped) that would be an end to it.

Then, news surfaced that no other than Ridley Scott was returning to the franchise, for a prequel to his first Alien. That got me curious, and as the release date grew closer and closer, my expectations ran higher and higher.

Long story short: Prometheus was shit. Poorly defined relationships, and a smorgasbord of forgettable one-dimensional characters who only serve to drive the story into a number of contrived hoops- and for what? Some hackneyed space-Jesus plot! Hardly an original idea. And to top it off, the crowning turd in the water-pipe (something you'd not even credit for a film in the Alien franchise) no fucking alien!

Anyway, Mr Scott is returning to the series for this next installment and has decided to back-track on his “I-know-best” NO-ALIEN policy.

We've had a number of little teasers so far, including two trailers (one much more subtle than the other), a closer look at the new stock-android (it seems most crews feature one, even though this was a major surprise to those on board the Nostromo first time round), and a “bloody-hell-it's-in-broad-daylight” view of the new 'Xenomorph' design- although I need to add at this point, I personally hate it when people call the aliens Xenomorphs like that's their official genus, it's a term used by the Colonial Marines to describe a generic 'bug' before they even meet their first monster...

One of H.R. Giger's early designs- look familiar?

I wasn't entirely sure about that 'money shot' at first, but given how everyone and their dog knows how the alien looks these days (Scott once famously said he spotted the alien in Disney Land), maybe it's better to tackle that head-on. Looks like much of the bio-mechanical styling have been dropped in favour of a more naturalistic and 'butch' design- the alien till this point had always been predominantly slender and feminine. In truth, it sticks quite accurately to Giger's original sketches from the first film, and I feel like that's a bold move on Scott's part.

Other 'tools' in the marketing campaign for Alien Covenant are the release of a number of clips. One of these is entitled Last Supper and provides a look at the new soon-to-be-doomed crew, while another shows Shaw (Prometheus' only human survivor) repairing David the android's destroyed body. Given how one of the things I loathed about Prometheus was the lack of group dynamics and believable characters, I was relieved watching Last Supper to see a little more of the 'old magic' at play; the scene felt believable and intimate. Obviously this is just a small window into a feature length film, but it's reassuring. A final clip revealed a now-repaired David essentially laying waste to what appears to be the Engineer's homeworld with their own weaponised black toxin (which truth be told felt a little like a spoiler).

However, for everything Alien Covenant might be doing right, it may be making further errors. News is now circulating which throws the whole premise of the current Alien saga in a different direction... Apparently David, the android who just barely survived the events of Prometheus, is responsible for engineering the particular strain of alien we've so far seen in the franchise, thus entirely decoding the subtext of the film cannon. What had once been a case of 'man is inferior to nature / man is not on top of the natural order of things' is now 'man sows the seeds to his own destruction': man created A.I, A.I creates the alien, alien destroys man.' Scott is quite pleased with this little gimmick, pointing out that while the 'man vs nature' trope has been played out quite often, this particular little avenue of creativity is fertile ground... Aside from my own reservations (personally I actually really like the 'man vs nature' trope) what the blinding-fuck is Ridley Scot actually talking about? 'man sows the seeds etc' is a trope as old as the hills! I mean, Christ alive, that's the entire through-line for the Terminator franchise for a start! Man creates A.I ' Skynet, Skynet creates terminators, terminators destroys man', not familiar at all? Ridley! This is James Cameron's shtick, you've probably heard of the guy, he got the job of doing a sequel to your first Alien film! Off the back of his first Terminator film! I despair, I really do...

Am I the only one who thinks Ridley Scott as actually suffered some sort of stroke?

Anyway, long story short, I'm off to see Alien Covenant when it comes out. Here's hoping it's good.

"SOMETIMES PEOPLE ONLY SEE HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE THINGS IN MY PAINTINGS..."

H.R. Giger 

The man himself.

A sad farewell to H.R. Giger, the man who shaped so much of my life. Sorry this is so belated...

Beyond the influence of my parents, Giger* is likely the person who had the biggest impact on my life and the direction I have chosen for myself.

"When I was a young boy, I was obsessed with skulls and mummies and things like that."

H.R. Giger

I always enjoyed drawing, and from early childhood I had a natural flair for it- and this gave me an appreciation for other people's work. While I was in my early teens my mother showed me the film Aliens, knowing full well I was going to love it (out of sequence, I know, but it still holds up on its own). I remember being blown away by the creature design and immediately became interested in not only the 'creation' of movies, but who could have possibly imagined such a nightmare. That, as I'm sure it did for many others, led me to the works of H.R. Giger- who had earned an academy award for his work on the first Alien film**, designing the creature itself as well as the desolate landscape of the planet where the ill fated crew of the Nostromo first encounter it. That's when I started to take art seriously; not just as an interest but as a possible career. Aliens soon became one of my all-time favorite movies.
Giger is the reason I excelled in art at school, submitted the work that I did, and pursued the subject beyond mandatory education... I may no longer seek art as a profession (well, I still do a little freelance work here and there), but it's certainly shaped who I am today.

"You get talent when you discover the ground of your pain."

 H.R. Giger

His work on Alien earned him international attention, and rightly so.

Whatever your personal opinions on his work, whether they're a kind of morbid and immature kitsch*** or a deeply unsettling and surreal look into the physical and sociological environment surrounding us, there can be no denying the level of talent and imagination required for their creation; talent and imagination that H.R. Giger had in spades...

"Some people say my work is often depressing and pessimistic, with the emphasis on death, blood, overcrowding, strange beings and so on, but I don't really think it is."

H.R. Giger

Goodbye H.R. Giger, may you forever ride the ghost train home.

February  5, 1914 - May 12, 2014.

A typical Giger piece; a surreal and Freudian sado-masochistic exploration of feminine form and bio-mechanical organs.

*It's pronounced "Geager", like eager. not as in "Geiger counter".

 **James Cammeron infamously cut H.R. Giger out of production for his sequel to Alien, choosing to work on the creature designs himself. However, Giger was subsequently rehired by David Fincher for the 3rd installment-creating what many consider (myself included) the Alien's most awe-inspiring interpretation.

***I said to my tutor "you dismiss Giger because you call his work Kitsch, but you're hanging all this shit by Andy-fucking-Warhole around the room? You don't see any irony in that?" What a clueless dick.

ALIENS VS PREDATOR; Carlisle's Final Word.

“My doctors tell me the worst is behind me.” 
Charles Bishop Weyland.

Script Logic; 1/2

Pace; 1/2

Acting; 0/2

Aesthetic; 1/2

Originality & Intention; 0/2

Final Score; 3/10

I can’t really say anything about this that I haven’t said previously, I no longer have the energy to give this the kicking it really deserves. Surface to say, it’s a slap in the face for both franchises, and as for the tag line of the film ‘whoever wins, we lose’, truer words have rarely been said…

Well done Paul Anderson, you must be so proud of all you have accomplished.

ALIEN RESURECTION; Carlisle's Final Word.

"Hey, Ripley. I heard you, like, ran into these things before?"

Johner.

Script Logic; 0/2

Pace; 1/2

Acting; 1/2

Aesthetic; 2/2

Originality & Intention; 1/2

Score; 5/10

Final Word; The first nail in the coffin of the alien franchise. The few good moments of acting are horribly skewed by the duff performances, and the story is a complete mess (a suprise considering Joss Whedon bought us the sharply written Buffy and Firefly series)- and made even weaker for having to shoe-horn in the main character who was (spoiler) killed off during the climax of the previous film. Gone is the gritty genre-breaking realism of its predecessors, replaced by the brash comic-book sensibility of French dircetor Jeunet, and sinking in the process any chance of the film actually scaring. 'The trick, Potter', is to build on what has come before- don't shit all over it!

A horrible miss-fire, and the tipping point for a once great franchise; sure, Alien 3 could have been better, but a decent fourth offering could easily have recovered things. Instead, what do we have to show for the good times? The fucking brain-dead Aliens Vs Predator and the head-up-arse Promethius. Yes, I'm more than a little bit fucking bitter about this.

...And as if the film didn't have 'FAIL' stamped so boldly over it already, here's a little-known fact: with the release of Alien Ressurection, the Alien Trilogy became known as the Alien Saga, and later "Quadrilogy". Quadrilogy is not a real word. The word relating toa set of 4 is "Tetralogy".

ALIEN 3; Carlisle's Final Word.

"Let me see if I have this correct, Lieutenant - it's an 8-foot creature of some kind with acid for blood, and it arrived on your spaceship. It kills on sight, and is generally unpleasant. And of course, you expect me accept all this on your word?"

Andrews.

 

 

 

Script Logic; 1/2

Pace; 1/2

Acting; 2/2

Aesthetic; 2/2

Originality & Intention; 1/2

Score; 7/10

 

Final Word; A difficult film to review, and it needs to be said that after all the studio interference its miraculous that David Fincher managed to put together a film at all. The acting can’t be faulted (no matter how unlikable the characters), nor the sets or phisical effects, and the Alien itself has never looked better- a faster, nastier and leaner beast than before. Despite its unrelenting grimness and hotchpotch story, there is still much here to be admired, making this a curiously eccentric entry in the Alien saga.

ALIENS; Carlisle's Final Word.

"We'd better get back, 'cause it'll be dark soon, and they mostly come at night... mostly."

Newt.

Script Logic; 2/2

Pace; 2/2

Acting; 2/2

Aesthetic; 2/2

Originality & Intention; 2/2

Score; 10/10

Final Word; A sequel that’s actually better than the original, one that’s not content to simply re-tread the same old boards, this takes the series into a completely new direction (and sadly nothing to follow in the franchise came anywhere near these dizzying heights). Where Ridley Scott served up the shivers, James Cameron takes you on a thrill-ride, and the result is a perfect mix of action, horror and science fiction. Anything more I can add will only sound like the gushing of a die-hard fan-boy, and to the film's credit most of the physical effects have stood the test of time pretty well.

ALIEN; Carlisle's Final Word.

"I can't lie to you about your chances, but... you have my sympathies."

Ash.

 

 

Script Logic; 2/2

Pace; 1/2

Acting; 2/2

Aesthetic; 2/2

Originality & Intention; 2/2

Score; 9/10

Final Word; Ignore the fact that the look of the film is starting to show signs of dating, and consider the restrictions of the shoe-string budget and effects, and the film is nothing short of remarkable. Compare it to the cardboard scenery and rubber-masks of its peers (Star Trek, Doctor Who and Star Wars, A New Hope) and you have a truly believable world and an absolutely terrifying monster. Solid acting, and a sharp (if slow-burning) script that takes the standard ‘slasher’/ ‘3 Little Indians’ idea and transplants it into space. Genre defining and iconic.

PROMETHEUS; Carlisle’s Final Word.

"A king has his reign, and then he dies. It's inevitable."

Meredith Vickers.

 

Script Logic; 0/2

Pace; 1/2

Acting; 1/2

Aesthetic; 2/2

Originality & Intention; 0/2

Score; 4/10

Final Word; A nonsensical, overblown, cliché ridden and smug mess of a film. Makes the fatal mistake of revealing its ‘twist’ in the opening scene and has nothing else to keep you interested. So many plot holes and ‘what the fuck?’ moments  it makes the mind boggle. If it didn’t have Ridley Scott’s name attached no critic would give it the time of day- what was he thinking? Does Scott have Dementia now? Vicker's quote opening this review sadly illustrates both the career of Ridley Scott and the genre-defining Alien franchise.