“This plan is stupid. Let's just leave town now.”
Dale.
Dale.
Script Logic; 1/2
Pace; 1/2
Acting; 0/2
Aesthetic; 0/2
Originality & Intention; 0/2
Final Score; 2/10
I once read somewhere words to the effect that “Paul
Anderson couldn’t have had a better Christmas present than this”, which makes his previous effort look like the fucking Godfather by comparison. It's so heartbreaking to see two entertaining horror franchises crash
and burn in such a way- coming full circle from Ridley Scott's
avant-garde reimagining of the teenage slasher flick to this low-grade
teenage horror flick. The script is a total no-brainer- even for second
rate trash like this
The acting is shocking beyond words, it’s almost as though the cast was made up of people who have suffered recent massive head trauma- and in-film references (such as a character called Dallas, as well as the exclamation “Get to the choppa!”) are just wincingly pitiful. The suits, once the apex of latex creature design, are cheap and look more worthy of a decent Cosplay competition rather than a motion picture, and both the visual and CGI effects are likewise lacking. The film is practically shot in total darkness (perhaps to hide the cheap effects) which makes the story (that as it is) almost impossible to follow. And perhaps worst of all, there isn't one original or inspired idea in this whole mess of a film. I'm amazed this got a theatrical release at all.
The acting is shocking beyond words, it’s almost as though the cast was made up of people who have suffered recent massive head trauma- and in-film references (such as a character called Dallas, as well as the exclamation “Get to the choppa!”) are just wincingly pitiful. The suits, once the apex of latex creature design, are cheap and look more worthy of a decent Cosplay competition rather than a motion picture, and both the visual and CGI effects are likewise lacking. The film is practically shot in total darkness (perhaps to hide the cheap effects) which makes the story (that as it is) almost impossible to follow. And perhaps worst of all, there isn't one original or inspired idea in this whole mess of a film. I'm amazed this got a theatrical release at all.
The ‘Brothers Strause’ (as they like to be known) should
maybe consider a change of career, because this film is a God-damn abortion. I'd say this
is like the worst sort of fan-made film, except most other fans would do
a better job than this shit stain of a film.
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