"THAT, MY FRIEND, WAS A DRAGON!"

Balin (The Hobbit, The Desolation of Smaug, 2013).

Big, but is it a dragon?

Late again, I know.

So, the new trailer for the Hobbit is causing a stir online, and we finally get a head-shot of the antagonistic dragon of the title.

Huh. So that's what Smaug looks like... 

How... Disappointing.

In the first Hobbit film I took issue with the amount of CGI that was used in place of physical effects. I found this the most jarring in 2 scenes: firstly, with the Goblins inside Moria (who had previously been so well portrayed by actors in makeup in LOTR), and with Smaug's attack on the Dwarfs during the Hobbit's opening. This later instance illustrated the single biggest flaw of CGI: heft. CGI creatures (as opposed to landscapes, which fair better) never have the 'weight' or 'presence' to completely convince, and Smaug's flight over the dwarf kingdom was both too fast and too 'light'; a beast that size would be moving slower and flapping it's wings with greater power. 

The Fell Beast, as seen in Return Of The King.

Oddly, the LOTR films handled this problem more smoothly- remember the Fell Beast? The winged bat-like creature that the Ringwraith rode into battle, attacking Gondor from the skies? It 'felt' more real. When it dived it was fast, but it didn't move like a jet! 

The Horntail, giving Harry a run for his money.

Still, the Fell Beast is a rare example of a perfectly believable CGI creature, so I thought "maybe I'm being overly picky to compare Smaug to the Fell Beast", and I put aside my concerns- still excited to see Smaug's grand reveal. I thought a decent design would atone for the lack or realism, so imagine my disappointment with the above film-still from the new Hobbit trailer. Not only is the design more like something from How To Train Your Dragon (some of them monsters looked pretty silly, didn't they*?), but the quality of the effects are terrible! It's like a straight-to-DVD dragon, from the type of films with titles like 'Shark Vs Ninja' and 'Stripper Zombies From Planet X', or 'I am Legendary'. Even the dragon in BBC's Merlin looks better!

A Dragon, according to the BBC... Looks a little like the Loch Ness monster.

Nevermind. Maybe it's just more of a let-down after the effects in LOTR? Actually, taking another glance at the first picture, that is pretty rubish, isn't it? It looks so obviously fake, let's hope the effects are still unfinished! Although, I doubt they'd include such a shot in the trailer if it was still being tweaked.

Rein Of Fire. I'll confess I've not seen this film all the way through, is it any good?

In my mind (at least) there is only one real movie dragon, and although others have come close (Harry Potter's Horntail and the creatures from Reighn Of Fire spring to mind), it still reins supreme. Dark, brooding, frighting; everything a real dragon should be...

Ladies and gents, I bring you 'Vermithrax Pejorative', from the (suprisingly dark) Disney film Dragonslayer. So-so film, unpronounceable name, and a very camp Peter MacNicol as the heroic lead, but one fucking awesome Dragon!

"Holy shit!" Dragon Slayer's formidable Vermithrax.

  ...Peter Jackson take note: that, my friend, is a real dragon.

*In defense of How To Train Your Dragon; some of those creatures were supposed to be daft and loveable, but the  King Dragon in the film's climax was terrifying...

THE HOBBIT, AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY; Carlisle's Final Word.

“Far over the misty mountains cold / To dungeons deep and caverns old / The pines were roaring on the height / The winds were moaning in the night / The fire was red, it flaming spread / The trees like torches blazed with light...”

Thorin Oakenshield (singing)

 

 

Script Logic; 1/2

Pace; 1/2

Acting;  2/2

Aesthetic; 1/2

Originality & Intention; 1/2



Final Score; 6/10



So, I've decided this deserves a much longer review, but for now I'll settle with my usual length summary.


Final Word.; long story 'short', Jackson drops the ball. The film is overly long and strays uncomfortably between the darker tone of The Lord Of The Rings films and the more light-hearted source material. Without wishing to give away any spoilers, the polar points of this observation are 1; the brutal battle flashback between the Dwarves and the Orcs (where a significant character is decapitated, and his head tossed aside) and 2; the scene where the Dwarfs in Bilbo's home sing merrily while washing the dishes, resembling something straight from a Disney cartoon. 
The CGI, while good, is overused and barely better than what has already come before. A number of subplots (taken directly from other Tolkien material, but not the actual Hobbit novel) have been shoe-horned into the narrative to better tie it into the mythos of the previous films, but only serve to confuse the story and stretch the running time.
All in all, not a disaster, but unforgivably flawed. Would have been far better served as a single film, two at the most- but hey, its good fun while its playing, and worth catching in the cinema if only for the giddy thrill of revisiting Peter Jackson's Middle Earth.

More on this to come...

THE LORD OF THE RINGS, RETURN OF THE KING; Carlisle’s Final Word.

"A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day.

An hour of woes and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight!"

Aragorn.

 

 

 

Script Logic; 1/2

Pace; 1/2

Acting; 2/2

Aesthetic; 2/2

Originality & Intention; 1/2

Score; 7/10




Final Word; The weakest in an amazing trilogy, but by no mans a bad film. A great film infact. Again, for all its strengths its let down by a plodding pace, details that don't serve the story, and an over-sentimental ending that drags (and drags, and drags). That said, expect glory, drama, warefare and heroism. Final final thought, too many elephents...

THE LORD OF THE RINGS, THE TWO TOWERS; Carlisle’s Final Word.

"There shall be no dawn for men"

Saruman.

 

 

Script Logic; 2/2

Pace; 1/2

Acting; 2/2

Aesthetic; 2/2

Originality & Intention; 1/2

Score; 8/10

Final Word; Following on from the first film was always going to be a tall order, but for the most part the film succeeds. Weakened by a very slow start, some needless subplots and irrelevant details, but comes into its own in the second half with a brilliant battle scene. Purists of the book will criticise some of the changes, and while some of these do feel like strange choices, others do serve the story arc of the film. Like its predecessor, could do with loosing 30 minutes of run-time.

THE LORD OF THE RINGS, FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING; Carlisle’s Final Word.

"One Ring to Rule Them All. One Ring to Find Them. One Ring to Bring Them All and In The Darkness Bind Them."

Gandalf.

 

Script Logic; 2/2

Pace; 1/2

Acting; 2/2

Aesthetic; 2/2

Intention & Originality; 2/2

Score; 9/10

Final Word; A very faithful adaption of the first book, and a staggeringly detailed presentation of Tolkien’s world. Could have benefited by a little more editing, and a less slavish devotion to the source material (much of which does nothing for the story), but still a brilliant adventure, and brave enough to take itself seriously.