Wednesday, 17 October 2012

“IF PAC-MAN HAD AFFECTED US AS KIDS..."


Contd "...We'd all be running around in dark rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music!”
Marcus Brigstoke. 



A bit of a change from the norm here, today we're going to talk about games...



I’m one of the few males I know who doesn’t own a console. Really. The last console I owned was an Xbox, not even an Xbox 360. I’m married, so I’m not allowed one. Actually, I did own a Wii, but that hardly counts. I rarely have a chance for gaming, so I don’t miss it (often).

Anyway, I got to thinking about my childhood recently (now having a child of my own), and reminisced about all the times my parents would play computer games with me; well, my mum would watch the ones that had a story, while my dad would actually play. Back then, games could be pretty tough, not like these days where any idiot with enough time can complete them. More importantly, games were very, very addictive; without the perk of realistic graphics, games needed to rely on actually being fun. Sure, we may now have Arkham City and Modern Warefare, but few games of the last decade can compete with the ‘old timers’ for enjoyment and challenges…



Or does it just feel that way, now I’m a 30 year old? A child of the early 80’s who thinks of 1993 as being just 10 years ago. Someone who still thinks Jurassic Park is fairly recent… You decide. Anyway, here’s a list of some of my favourite games, as played on my trusty Amiga or my Commodore 64 (and on one occasion the PlayStation One).

If you’re old like me, enjoy the walk down memory lane. If you’re sickeningly young, have a laugh at what us oldies used to do for fun (hey, it beats self-harm). I’ve even provided a few You Tube links to sample the software, as it were.






Alien 3
A tough game, where you play a gun-toting sort-of-Ripley through a hybrid platform world comprised of the previous films (so not technically accurate). Not impossible though, as when you learnt where the aliens re-spawned you could get enough shots off in good time, and you can learn by repetition where the hostages are being held. Probably one of the better film-tie-ins of its day.


Alien Breed; 1992 edition
Back before there were any official Alien games (of any consequence that is), Alien Breed was as close as I got to pretending to be a Colonial Marine in the film Aliens. Unfortunately, I never had the skill to complete this game without cheats, not sure I knew anyone who did. Who could forget the absolute frustration of realising you’d run out of keys and couldn’t actually reach the end of the level? All you had to look forward to was death-by-teeth when you used up your last bullets.


Barbarian 2
Being a growing boy with ‘issues surrounding social interaction’, any game with gore was a promising prospect for me. Barbarian 2 was pretty basic, but it was bloody satisfying when you managed to land a decapitating blow on your enemies. The difficulty was set pretty high from level one, but it didn’t really get any harder.


Beneath A Steel Sky
One of my all-time favourite games, a point-and-click adventure by the team who later bought us the awesome Broken Sword franchise, and the artist behind the Watchmen graphic novel. It was gripping, exciting, sometimes shocking (Anita, no!) and darkly funny, and provided me with hours and hours of play. Unfortunately, almost half that time was comprised of loading between screens, and coming on 15 floppy disks- that’s a lot of loading. Never completed it on the Amiga, but managed to track down a copy recently that played on the PC and finally put that nagging thorn-in-my-side to rest. Still holds up well today.


Cabal
The first game I ever loved. Basically you play Arnold Schwarzenegger from Commando (or Stallone from Rambo, whichever your preference), and you need to blow away an oncoming army of ‘not-Russians’. Basically a fore-runner to the likes of Modern Warefare. Well, sort of.


Cannon Fodder
(Amiga) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ob73lgvE0M

Simple. Addictive. Violent. Funny. Who could ever forget: ‘war, never been so much fun’? The names were a touch of genius, and it was easy to form attachments to the veteran members of your squad, and heart-breaking when they died! Jools and Jops FTW! What I didn’t realise till years later is that you could actually heal the soldiers who took a bullet but didn’t die, the ones that laid on their back screaming in agony. I always used to get upset at their suffering and give them the ol’ mercy shot. Oops.


Chaos Engine
Like Alien Breed, this was another top-down shooter, except the difficulty was cranked all the way to ‘fucking ludicrous’. I did get good, but never anywhere near able to complete it. An appealing novelty was the idea of selecting different characters, whose weapons and speed handled differently during gameplay. Catchy techno music too.


Flashback
One of the first games I remember playing that featured a coherent plot (a cross between Total Recall and Invasion Of The Body Snatchers), or cut-scenes between the action. Realistic motion-captured movements added to the cinematic quality. Very influential. I even managed to complete this one!


Ghosts & Goblins
(Commodore 64) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CkgsA01gJvQ

The hardest game I have ever played! Seriously. It looked cute and child-friendly, but by Christ it was hard- probably the hardest game ever made. Many a new gamer will disagree with that last comment, they will probably tell me "no way, Demon Souls is much harder than that piece of shit". To them, I reply "no save points or continues here, pussies!"


It Came From The Dessert
This was an odd little game; part point-and-click adventure, part text adventure, part shooter, part platformer. It was basically a 50’s ‘giant-ant’ style B-movie plot, filled with mini-games. Interestingly, it was time-frame dependent, meaning you needed to be at certain locations of the map to discover certain clues and witness certain events to complete the game. I got as far as getting a plane together, along with a scientist with some chemical that would kill the ants, but I could never work out where the hell the nest was! I would be the last human in town left alive; driving around the town centre in a tank till either I ran out of shells or fuel. One could easily argue that a game like this is in the genetic make-up of games like Fahrenheit and Heavy Rain.


Lemmings
Everyone knows Lemmings, surely. Again, I couldn’t get through all the levels, but it was still fun. After a hard day, I used to let off steam by trapping all the creatures together and hitting the ‘self-destruct’ button. Blue little buggers!


Monkey Island
Another funny point-and-click game, about a looser who dreams of becoming a great pirate, similar in tone to the first Pirates Of The Caribbean film, with a dash of Naked Gun. I did complete this game, but I was a fair bit older when I started playing this.


Moonstone
Another gory game, this played like Golden Axe or Streets Of Rage, except with blood-spilling on a level akin to Monty Python's Holy Grail. Characters would have to cut a bloody trail through their enemies while searching for magical keys to save the kingdom (or something like that). Never saw the game completed because my copy would always crash during the final battle, but the fun to be had here was in multiplay; you and three friends could play this in turns, either working together to search the map or by screwing eachother over in violent one-on-one combat!


Mortal Kombat 2
So, everybody knows Mortal Kombat, right? It’s been going on long enough. Could have mentioned the first game, except that for me this was the apex of the franchise’s history. All the best elements; a good control system, a varied cast (a big roster for its day with 12 characters) blood, brutality, fantasy, magic and monsters. Even on the  ‘very easy’ setting it was no picnic, and I had to rely on glitches and sneaky tactics to beat the 2 bosses, and I considered myself ‘pretty mustard’ agvainst human players…


North & South
A simulation of the tragic American Civil War, via an Astrix sensibility. You took it in turn to move your armies about the map, and during conflicts things begun to resemble a very basic Command & Conquer. Looked crap, but surprisingly addictive; very few things will give you a thrill akin to riding your brave cavalry against a loading cannon! You WILL here yourself shouting "charrrrrge!"

Resident Evil
I’ve still not completed this bloody game! I still have the save slot on my memory card, stuck in a safe room, next to an empty locker, 2 bullets left in my shotgun, and a house crawling with fucking Hunters (monstrous humanoids that want to make a donner kebab out of your face). Not a good reload point. And who could forget the porn-quality voice acting, or the heart pounding moment the first dog attacked you through the window? Truly an experience that redefined what a game could be, even if its many sequels became stale and repetitious…


Simon The Sorcerer
Pretty much the same sort of experience as Monkey Island, only with a dash of Discworld thrown into the mix. You play a looser who wants to become (wait for it) a sorcerer. The puzzles were sometimes tedious, but the humour and graphics kept the game fresh and enjoyable.


Syndicate
A strategic war game, where the player takes control of a shady organisation intent on taking over a Bladerunner-styled future world. You do this by way of a campaign of street-level warfare and conspiratorial subterfuge, such as assassination, abduction and mass-destruction. Sometimes frustrating, but always addictive. Also, it’s pretty cool to control a group of trench-coat clad killers, roaming the city, armed with sniper rifles and shotguns.


Worms
Hopefully, this is a game that requires no introduction. I fondly remember evenings after school, a room full of friends sat round the TV screen, passing the mouse from person to person, blowing shit up while listening to Guns N’ Roses or Iron Maiden. Ah, those were the days…



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