“Trouble with the damned is... they never stay put.”
Aman.
 | |
| Mr Snipes a'la western mode. Cool. |
Script Logic; 0/2
Pace; 0/2
Acting; 1/2
Aesthetic; 2/2
Originality & Intention; 1/2
Final Score; 4/10
Final Word: If the thought of Wesley Snipes as a cowboy fighting
a bunch of zombies doesn’t fill your heart with a certain amount of joy, then,
quite frankly, you’re beyond hope. But instead of the trashy thrills teased at
by a promising trailer we get this dull effort… Gallow Walkers suffers from
that worst of all sins for any aspiring B-movie- it takes itself waaaaay too
seriously; there’s not a glib one-liner or single humorous touch, which is
pretty much vital for a film that’s about cowboys Vs. zombies. The film would
have been better served by emulating classics such as Escape from New York, The
Quick and The Dead, Army Of Darkness and perhaps most importantly (and this would
seem an obvious choice to some) Blade! Because, and let’s be completely honest
about this, Gallow Walkers should have played-out more like ‘Blade in the Wild
West’, and that would have been wholly gratifying.
Among its many other problems are a weak central villain,
a tedious back-story (distastefully revolving round a
gang-rape), a coma-inducing pace and poor editing (seriously, it needs to be
seen to be disbelieved- characters, props and locations disappear and reappear mid-conversation).
Co-star Taint Phoenix, here playing generic tart-in-a-corset has little to do
other than look beautiful as the 'captive in despair' and jut her cleavage into every shot
possible, including the shots she’s not actually in. That’s not even an exaggeration.
Like most of the other characters, Taint has absolutely nothing to do here and no bearing
on the plot, to the extent that removing her character entirely would make no discernible
difference to the film.
Despite its failings the film can at least boast some
stunning visual touches (nothing about the film looks cheap, despite its meager
budget) and inspired ideas, such as; a zombie giant who protects his head with
a metal bucket (Like a Silent Hill inspired re-imagining of Ned Kelly), and another who’s face is
a patchwork of lizard hide because it stands up better to the dessert heat than
human skin.
A criminally wasted effort, and like many of its
antagonists- dead on arrival.
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